Learning to breathe...

 breathe 

Pronunciation: \ˈbrēth\

Function: verb

Inflected Form(s): breathed; breath·ing

Etymology: Middle English brethen, from breth

Date: 14th Century

intransitive verb 1 a : to draw air into and expel it from the lungs : respire; broadly : to take in oxygen and give out carbon dioxide through natural processes b : to inhale and exhale freely

Breathe...A simple action...one that is done automatically, like the beat of a heart. Children do it at birth and continue till death. But, it seems at age 43 I am learning to breathe all over again.

Learning from and working with Eryn, at the yoga studio, has taught me that I no longer breathe. I find myself without the life force that we all need to survive. I don't breathe because breathing, some days, just plain hurts. Working on my breath, I find that the sustaining life giving breathe causes pain. I find myself afraid to breathe, but the deep breaths, as I am learning can release that pain and give energy to the body. It is no wonder I find myself with a lack of energy...I deny myself due to fear...fear of the pain. Its funny, as I write this to say those words. Masochist comes to mind. Why would anyone deny themselves the life giving breath? It hard to wrap my mind around the connection we have with our breath. There are so many walls and repression in my mind that its hard to find my way out. But, with that having been said, I do understand the strength of my mind, for the power it holds to block the pain in my everyday life, to me, is amazing.


As Eryn is teaching me, I need to find my breath to release the pain. "Waiting to Exhale" comes to mind. The letting go of anxiety, stress and pain. Letting go.... 


"If I just breathe
Let it fill the space between
I'll know everything is alright
Breathe,
Every little piece of me
You'll see
Everything is alright
Everything is alright if i just breathe... breathe" ~Michelle Branch
"Breathing is how we connect the mind and body. It is often called the bridge between mind, body and spirit. Being aware of the breath as we do yoga, or anything else for that matter, is a way to stay mindful. Think about letting go of whatever is going on. Know that for right now it doesn't matter. For right now you are just going to breathe." ~Eryn


So, I sit alone comfortably, inside the little sliver of warming sun coming through my window and I breathe...